I agree that each of us will get hurt from time to time, and allow our emotions to play us up, but it seems to me that the key here is not to ACT on them, not to "allow [them] to take over.".
It seems to me that the "injured" or "slighted" party needs to bear in mind something written by Machiavelli, that the ultimate exercise of power is restraint. Yes, he was talking about politics and militia, but I think it applies. The happiest and kindest people I know, and know of, are those who don't permit themselves to be troubled over such things.
And among adults, this sort of refereeing shouldn't be necessary. And it seems to me that among adults of conscience "developing peer support for norms that let bystanders feel supported when they stand out against bullying behavior" ought to be unnecessary and the need for it is not just lamentable but pathetic! Are we as adults so timid, so frightened that someone else might disagree with us or that we might be the lone voice of reason in a mob, that we keep silent????
As long as we're talking about refereeing, though, what about the too-common internet forum practice of "dog-piling" or "piling on?" Frequently in those cases it isn't even the principal who's been offended, but a friend of hers: "How DARE you suggest that there isn't historical evidence for Thus-and Such? My FRIEND would NEVER make a historical error and you're just snarking" and then the rest of the crowd gathers round to join in the stoning.
no subject
It seems to me that the "injured" or "slighted" party needs to bear in mind something written by Machiavelli, that the ultimate exercise of power is restraint. Yes, he was talking about politics and militia, but I think it applies.
The happiest and kindest people I know, and know of, are those who don't permit themselves to be troubled over such things.
And among adults, this sort of refereeing shouldn't be necessary.
And it seems to me that among adults of conscience "developing peer support for norms that let bystanders feel supported when they stand out against bullying behavior" ought to be unnecessary and the need for it is not just lamentable but pathetic! Are we as adults so timid, so frightened that someone else might disagree with us or that we might be the lone voice of reason in a mob, that we keep silent????
As long as we're talking about refereeing, though, what about the too-common internet forum practice of "dog-piling" or "piling on?"
Frequently in those cases it isn't even the principal who's been offended, but a friend of hers: "How DARE you suggest that there isn't historical evidence for Thus-and Such? My FRIEND would NEVER make a historical error and you're just snarking" and then the rest of the crowd gathers round to join in the stoning.